What is bullying and cyberbullying?
Bullying is repetitive, intentional, and aggressive behavior that involves intimidating, harassing, or teasing a person with the goal of hurting or humiliating them.
Cyberbullying is a modern form of bullying that uses digital technologies, such as social media and online messaging, to harass, threaten, or humiliate a person.
How to respond when you’re being bullied?
Stay calm. Take deep breaths and try to remain calm.
Ignore and block. Don’t respond to negative messages or comments. To ignore messages, simply don’t read them and don’t reply.
Seek support. Talk to someone you trust: a parent, a teacher, a close friend, or a school counselor.
Keep your distance. Stay as far away from the bully as possible, both physically and online.
How to respond as a parent or trusted adult when a child is being bullied?
Use positive, hopeful language. Review the evidence provided by the victim. Don’t engage in further negative discussions. Understand that you need to speak positively. Continuing to discuss the bullying comments will only make things worse. You can say, „I’m not going to continue this negative conversation.”
Take an active role. Educate yourself about bullying, read materials, and talk to experts. Create a safe space. Listen carefully and empathetically to what your child has to say. Document the facts. Keep evidence (screenshots, messages) to intervene effectively. Use positive language. Encourage your child and express your confidence in their ability to overcome this situation.
Set boundaries. Don’t continue discussions about negative comments. Clearly say, „I’m not going to continue this negative conversation.” Continuing to discuss the bullying comments will only make things worse.
Seek professional help. If necessary, contact a psychologist or school counselor. Collaborate with the school. Involve teachers and school administration to find solutions together and talk to other parents who have gone through this.
What are the warning signs of bullying and cyberbullying in children?
Before anything else, it’s essential to create a trusting environment where your child feels comfortable sharing any problem. Here are some signs that could indicate they are being bullied:
– If your child is being bullied, they may exhibit physical symptoms such as weight loss, sleep problems, and unexplained bruises.
– Behavioral changes such as withdrawal from social activities and increased anxiety can be signs of bullying.
– If your child is being bullied, they may make up excuses to miss school or seem uninterested in their studies.
– Isolation is a common sign of bullying. Your child may avoid contact with other children and feel lonely or rejected.
– If your child is being bullied, they may spend less time on their devices or seem stressed when their phone rings.
– Loss of possessions, like money or clothes, can be a sign that your child is being targeted.
– If your child is being bullied, they may come home with damaged clothing and injuries that they can’t explain.
– Has damaged clothing, unexplained scratches, and bruises.
– Struggles to complete assignments; appears distracted during conversations.
– Eats significantly more or less than normal. Suffers from digestive problems.
What should we do next? Let’s collect some data.
To gain a deeper understanding of the situation and provide appropriate support, consider asking your child the following questions:
What exactly happened? (To get a detailed description of the incident.)
Who was involved? (To identify the bully or bullies.)
Where did it happen? (To pinpoint the location of the incident.)
How did it happen? (To understand how the incident unfolded.)
How did you react? (To understand how the child felt and what they did at that moment.)
Where were you when it happened? (To get information about the context.)
Were there other people around? (To identify any potential witnesses.)
Were you alone? (To assess the child’s level of isolation.)
Has this happened before? (To identify a possible pattern of behavior.)
If so, how often? (To assess the frequency and intensity of the incident.)
How does it usually start? (To identify the warning signs of the incident.)
What do you usually do in these situations? (To understand the child’s coping mechanisms.)
Do you think it will happen again? (To assess the child’s level of anxiety.)
Did anyone help you? (To identify potential allies.)
Did anyone defend you? (To assess the level of social support.)
Did anyone see what happened? (To identify potential witnesses.)
To determine if bullying is occurring, ask these questions:
Did they hit you or intentionally hurt you? (This helps establish the bully’s intent.)
Did you do anything to provoke them? (It’s important to understand if there was any initial provocation.)
Did they want to hurt you for no reason? (This highlights the lack of justification for the bully’s actions.)
Has this happened more than once? (Repetition is a defining characteristic of bullying.)
Did they know they were hurting you? (This shows whether the bully is aware of the impact of their actions.)
Did they seem to enjoy making you feel bad? (Pleasure in causing suffering is a sign of bullying.)
Did you tell them to stop? (This checks if the victim tried to stop the situation.)Did they stop when you told them to? (Failure to respect the victim’s request is a strong indicator.)
How can I protect my child from bullying and cyberbullying?
Encourage open communication: Create a safe space where your child feels comfortable talking about anything that worries them.
Teach them to identify the signs of bullying: Explain what bullying is and how it can manifest, both in person and online.
Help them develop social skills: Encourage them to make friends and interact with others in a positive way.
Teach them to assert their rights: Explain that they have the right to feel safe and be respected.
Teach them to ignore and block: Show them how to ignore negative messages and comments online and how to block people who harass them.
The most important thing is to build a trusting relationship with your child.
Reassure them that they can count on you in any situation. Teach them that they are not alone and that you can work together to overcome any obstacle. Talk openly about bullying, how they feel, and what worries them.
Prevention is key. Talk to your child about bullying from a young age. Explain that it’s not okay to be treated badly and that they have the right to feel safe. Teach them how to recognize the signs of bullying and how to ask for help when they need it. Reassure them that you will always be there for them.
Highlight the importance of support groups. Encourage your children to join support groups. These can be both online and offline. Provide them with information about such groups, as some children may be more willing to discuss their problems with specialists than with their parents.
Respect your child’s choice. If your child doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you about their experiences with bullying, respect their decision and help them find someone else they trust, such as a school counselor or a member of an online support group. Provide them with all the resources they need to cope with this difficult situation.
Take the initiative as a parent. As a parent, you can be the first step in seeking help. Research support groups available in your community and offer them to your child. Explain that they are not alone and that there are people who can help them overcome this unpleasant experience.
I’m being bullied! What should I do?
Option 1: Direct and to the point
Don’t suffer in silence! Speak up about what’s happening to you. Share your experience with a trusted adult or a professional. Together, you can find a solution.
Option 2: With a call to action
Reach out for help! You’re not alone. Talk to a trusted adult and seek the support you need. Together, you can stop the bullying.
Option 3: Focusing on the importance of communication
Communication is key. Talk openly about how you feel and what’s happening to you. Don’t hesitate to seek help from a trusted adult or a professional.
Option 4: Turn to your friends and family for support
There’s strength in numbers. Don’t fight bullying alone. Talk to someone and seek support.
Comprehend this:
It’s not your fault: Bullying is never the victim’s fault.
You deserve respect: You have the right to be treated with respect and dignity.
You have support: There are people who can help you and who want to see you do well.
Don’t fight back: Violent reactions only encourage the bully. Stay calm, ignore the attacks, and maintain a positive attitude.
Save the evidence: Screenshots, printouts, audio/video recordings, and journals are important evidence. Testimonies from other people can also be helpful.
What is the importance of evidence?
Document the bullying: The evidence proves you’re being bullied.
Get the help you need: Use this evidence to get help from your parents, teachers, or a counselor.
Protect yourself: Keep this evidence as proof if you need to take legal action against the bully.
Tips for keeping evidence:
Save immediately: The sooner, the better.
Label clearly: Note the date and time of each piece of evidence.
Store securely: Choose a place where only you have access.
Types of evidence:
Screenshots: Messages, posts, comments.
Printouts: Messages, emails.
Audio/video recordings: Conversations, incidents.
Journals: Detailed descriptions of events.
Testimonies: Statements from witnesses.
Don’t suffer alone: You’re not alone in this. Talk to someone you trust and get the help you need.